S.T.U.D.Y

I had my first grades dream last night. Finally. I was afraid the fear would never hit, and I would be forced to motivate myself towards good grades without running, white with horror, away from a bleak future at [insert bottom of the barrel career here].

I will retell the dream now, but for those with a weak stomach, you might want to skip down a few paragraphs.

In my dream…
I got a “D” in a 6 credit class.

It just about topped that dream where I was in a Romanian orphanage, and I had to escape through a series of pipes and chutes with only Clint Eastwood to guide me. It was really scary.

This new fear, I believe, is a result of the story of a friend of mine. This friend, we’ll call her Mellisa Marks, got a nice internship working for the government this summer. They asked her to send her updated transcript as a formality, but when they received the transcript and discovered that she had below a 3.0, her internship offer was revoked. Her grades were: B, B, B, B-. And now she has but two choices–start networking at [bottom of barrel career path], or … no, that’s about it.

So, I have vowed that this semester I will do what many of my colleagues have done to attain success: bite the bullet and S.T.U.D.Y. Though last semester, I did Spin Tepid Unreasonable Distrust of the Yeti, I did not quite S.T.U.D.Y as I should. That is:
Sit, Try, and Understand= Direct Yield.

Unfortunately, this conflicts with my earlier S.T.U.D.Y. plan of Silently Trying to Upend my Dwindling Youth. But “direct yield”! It just sounds so glamorous!

My Triumphant Return

Law school is making me boring. The reason I know this is because when I came here, I thought all of my peers were excessively boring, but now I think they are just normal.

Law school is also making me a bad writer. People who can write only one type of paragraph are bad writers. See AC v. Law School, 126 A.2d 48, 75 (2007). In AC v. Law School, it was held that because a paragraph structure remained the same throughout an entire brief and the justices became bored and needed to take a nap, the writing of the brief was bad. In the present case, I have started to write very formulaically, paying less attention to cadence and more attention to word count, and have acquiesced to the wisdom of TREAC. Therefore, I have become a bad writer.

In response to these concerns, I would like to hereby announce my triumphant return to blogging. In this triumphant return I hope to update every hour, with all the latest on what I am thinking and feeling. Stay tuned!