To don or not to don?

The water is out in my building, so I have to go buy a bottle out of the vending machine downstairs. This means I have to suffer the indignity of emerging from my apartment without having washed my face or brushed my teeth. And this is especially upsetting because it interferes with my new study tactic, which is not to put on pants, ever.

Abstaining

After finding myself on the below site, I’ve decided to cut myself off from the internet until I’ve done a draft for my final memo.

The Web site that made me think that I might have a web surfing problem.

Can you guess what terms I was searching?

A note on my header…

I know it’s not so good, but I really don’t have time to work on it now. Arguably I shouldn’t have spent the last hour and a half messing around with it either. …I just couldn’t stand the ginormous text in the old design. It drove me crazy. It was all I could think about it Property. If anyone thinks I should change it back, though, let me know.

Salve?

And what are you supposed to be salvaging, exactly?

Listen, Burt: I don’t care how efficacious your bees are, my hands are cracked, my knuckles and bleeding, I have 45 pages of property to read for tomorrow, 30 pages for torts, an exam on Friday, and I’m already up past my bedtime. I do not have time for your silly little throw-back-Dapper-Dan quaint hand-salve tin. I need the freaking salve.

Did you think, Burt, that maybe there was a reason why the containers of greasy things like salve are no longer in tins? Did you think, Burt, that maybe it is because when you are trying to open the tin you must exert force somewhere, and because of the necessary placement of your hands during this process it can be no other place than the very lid you are trying to take off? And did you think, Burt, that maybe this process would be even more difficult because the outside of the greasy stuff is, despite aaaaaall common sense to the contrary, greasy? Did you think of any of these things Burt? Do you think of ANYTHING? Are you STUPID, Burt? What are the implications of the rule 26(c)(1) options for your extremely costly and extraordinarily burdensome electronic discovery!

I have WORK, Burt, WORK! I cannot mess with your tin ay longer. I must now soak my hands in Canola oil.

Oh my Bill

I am heartily sorry, for having offended thee.
And I detest
Of eating that container of icing
Because of your just punishments.
But most of all
It’s because I’ve offended you, Bill Phillips
Who are all good, and deserving of all of my portion control.
I firmly resolve, with the help of your Body for Life High-Point Technique™
To cross the abyss, focus on my future vision,
And avoid the rare occasion of half-off CLEARANCE Halloween candy at CVS.

Amen.

Thursday Night Review

Inappropriate Note-Taking:

Formalist Rules
-Tight definitions of assets

Even Less Appropriate Note-Taking:

Realist Rules
-Looser definitions of assets